I never loved anyone the way I loved you, and it damn near broke me. There’s some kind of hole where that piece of myself I gave you used to be. I know I’m better off with her but sometimes, I miss her innocence.
Starting to feel that nothing in life is as glamorous as we think it should be, it’s we who bring that. Not the , the event itself. Once we realize it is us that brings it to the situation and our way of being in it, that thing no longer has power over us and it will simply be all it needs to be because we have arrived. Because we are there.
I look back at the pictures and at first I see so much joy, longing piecing into each other… then just below that, waves and knots of pain, unraveling down deep into Marianas Trench… and somehow we found a point of connection down there too. Hearing each other’s echos… maybe that’s where we comforted each other most. Both hoping that we descended further to the core of the earth where maybe true, unconditional love was as pure as heat is organic there… Maybe that’s where we thought we’d meet. If we could just swim through the darkness more. But when I heard and you heard me were always at different levels. Ships passing in the night down there. I guess how could we have met we were broken differently, healing different wounds, swimming in different patterns with not enough tools to bring us to a point of common ground, empathy.
Something I know for sure though is that if we didn’t find the healthiest of love, there was love there. Twisted and gnarled and sad but it was. And that connection will never be forgotten. It lives.
It’s always a kind thing to try and provide someone advice in the hopes they learn from you before making a mistake. But sometimes people need to learn for themselves. Diverting trouble from someone frequently doesn’t help them. It enables them. Be wise who you share your wisdom with and why.